


Your New Best Friend

by mysterykai



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Horror, all the beta kids are parental figures for the alpha kids, scary puppets, sometimes ur baby brother gets possessed and u gotta put on ur big boy shades and deal with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26725300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterykai/pseuds/mysterykai
Summary: Dave isn't sure when all this started. Well, ok, maybe that wasn't entirely true. He has a pretty good idea of the weird bullshit starting point, the mental image of his baby bros hands dripping with blood as he all but massacred their toaster was kind of, sort of, absolutely burned into his mind.  But had there been signs before that night? Had his rad shades not only blinded him to the light but also to some big clue? Some unmissable neon sign that read 'Spooky Ghost BullShit Starts Here'? The smart, more grownup half of his brain says no, there was nothing that could have clued him into all this before it literally started to tear their lives apart.But there's another part that isn't so sure. It's the part of his brain that sounds suspiciously like his dad.
Kudos: 6





	Your New Best Friend

Dave isn't sure when all this started. Well, ok, maybe that wasn't entirely true. He has a pretty good idea of the weird bullshit starting point, the mental image of his baby bros hands dripping with blood as he all but massacred their toaster was kind of, sort of, absolutely burned into his mind. But had there been signs before that night? Had his rad shades not only blinded him to the light but also to some big clue? Some unmissable neon sign that read 'Spooky Ghost BullShit Starts Here'? The smart, more grownup half of his brain says no, there was nothing that could have clued him into all this before it literally started to tear their lives apart.

But there's another part that isn't so sure. It's the part of his brain that sounds suspiciously like his dad.

Thankfully that train of thought gets absolutely fucking obliterated by Rose point blank smacking him on the back of the head. Shit he was out of it, when did she even get here?

"You look absolutely disgusting." She says, cadence as chipper as usual.

"And I feel absolutely dead, which is a lot better than actually being absolutely dead. Which I could have been. I could have died Rose, and this is how you treat me?" She rolled her eyes at his babbling.

It was midday, he belatedly realized, the yellow rays of sun shining in through the window blinds and illuminating what a fucking mess the living-room-slash-makeshift-bedroom had become. There was the cold remnants of pizza just chilling on the kitchen floor next to the remains of a bottle that was now in some very dangerous looking pieces. Dave would normally totally get to cleaning that, along with the ink smears and bloody hand prints that now decorated the walls and - oh yeah! - the fucking katana that was sticking out of the couch not but two inches from where Dave's head currently was, but he was tired as hell. Bone tired. He barely even turned to look at Rose as she sat on the folding chair perpendicular to the couch, swiping her skirt close to her legs in a spectacular move that just seemed to further emphasize how graceful and _not_ fucking dying she was.

"You know, when you pestered me saying you needed my occult expertise, I kind of assumed it was for new lyrics but I'm, well, I think I'm sensing it probably has something to do with all this." She gestured to the mess. "I didn't know you and Dirk had arguments this... explosive."

"We don't."

"You know, you don't have to fake being piqued in my grimoirian hobbies just to get me to come over and give some parenting advice. I thought I had assured you long ago my prices for family in regards to counseling is the low, low payment of getting absolutely humbled by me blasting your ego to shreds."

"Chill. I called you over to talk about spooky stuff, not for your psychoanalytic bullshit."

"Oh, so this isn't about Dirk?"

"No, it is."

"Then I'm afraid I'm a bit lost on what we're talking about."

"Oh, Dirk's totes mcgoats being possessed by this freaky voodoo puppet he picked up last week."

To her credit, Roses expression didn't change at all, black painted smile staying resolutely in place. However, the ensuing blink of her eyes that followed Dave's bland and frankly spiritless explanation seemed to go at 1/4th speed.

"I'm sorry Dave but... what?"

**Author's Note:**

> So I was super stressed out from work and wrote this entire chapter and half of the next one in one sitting. I will hopefully be finishing the other half and then the last chapter in a timely manner. Be sure to comment what u thought of this first one!


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